Once again, Madison Woods has given us a beautiful and challenging photograph for this week's Friday Fictioneers prompt. I love how she exercises our creative muscles. Thanks again, Madison!
FALL
Her mind was ablaze with what she’d just seen—another woman in his arms. Slamming the door, she stood outside in icy silence, huge as her emptiness, until she erupted and ran from the house—their house. Leaves crunched in a staccato beat beneath her feet.
Gray skies. Colorless as life without him. Cold mist stung her face like a slap.
Running anywhere, nowhere, she fell. Dead leaves swirled, falling, falling, until they came to a final rest beside her.
Fallen. Life was over.
Then she saw it. A tiny, pink bud. Struggling, yes. But new life, nonetheless.
Great metaphors, beautifully written, and I love the slice of hope at the end. Well done!
ReplyDelete@Russell - thanks! I love metaphors and similes in what I read, so I try to include them in my writing. Sometimes I wonder if I try too hard. :)
ReplyDeleteI love it, lord knows I have felt much like this more times than i care to count!
ReplyDeleteMarie
writepaniclive.blogspot.com
lovely imagery in your story.
ReplyDelete@Marie Borthwick - thank you. I guess you could tell, I've felt that pain, too.
ReplyDelete@Sheilagh Lee - Have to give credit to Madison's photo!
Loved how "beat up" I felt before the tiny plant emerged. Robin
ReplyDeletefabulous! I really felt her pain and her hope. Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteI love how you turned what started out very dark into something hopeful in so little a space.
ReplyDeleteI liked the turn around when everything felt so hopeless to her. Nicely done, Jan. :)
ReplyDeleteThis was a very nice and soft landing for this poor woman. I like how it ended, with hope!
ReplyDeleteGeez, Gypsy Jan, you write so well!
ReplyDeleteDear Jan,
ReplyDeleteAnd at the end you left me thinking that his corpse was soon going to be in the offing. A spine tingling feeling to go along with her quickly returning hope.
Aloha,
Doug
@Robin Hawke - I think I need to give comedy a try next Friday. :)
ReplyDelete@Luna Zega - unfortunately, I think we've all felt it one time or another.
@Madison, Siobhan and Susie - I usually try to end with a hopeful ending. I figure there's always hope. :)
@Ruth - Thank you!!
@Douglas MacIlroy - Wow! I never thought of that, but there's more story to this one now!
A beautiful passage, Jan. I love that you made hope glow in the darkness of the moment.~ Linda Joyce
ReplyDelete