Friday, March 16, 2012

"Waiting for My Boy" #FridayFictioneers #FlashFiction

Madison Woods posted a bit of a different photo prompt today, and what a pretty dog. (According to the photo's file name, her name is "Bobbie Sue.") So much to write about her wise, watchful eyes. I'm excited to read the variety of flash that is sure to be written about her. Click here for links to all the stories.

Feel free to leave a link to your stories with your comments!


Waiting for My Boy

It’s the longest part of the day
Waiting while the sun that
shines overhead drops and hides
behind the oak across the street and cool
shade replaces warm sunshine on
my belly.

The yellow school bus engine revs
as it approaches.
Brakes squeal.
It stops in front of the oak.

My boy runs across the street, his
satchel bulging with homework that will take
him away from me for hours.

My tail wiggles, then
ripples through me
until
my whole body
shivers
with
one,
giant wag.

He flings the gate open,
kneels and wraps his arms around
me.

The-scent-of-him-the-taste-of-him.
My boy!

48 comments:

  1. This was just so lovely. There's nothing to equal the bond that is forged between a boy and his dog, and you've captured it beautifully here. And I really like the way you've laid it out as prose. Very enjoyable.

    I think you've been to mine at http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/straight-talking-friday-fictioneers-16-march-2012/

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    1. Thank you, Sandra. The poem was inspired by watching my own dogs' excitement when I get home in the evenings. I enjoyed yours, too. I could tell you're a dog lover! :)

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  2. Oh, this was great! This is exactly how excited my kitty gets when I come home, but there is something so acutely different about the way a dog does it. You have shown that here without flaw!

    btw--on Madison's site, as far as I could see, you relinked to Madison's site, not yours.

    Thanks for sharing this one!

    http://quillshiv.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/dichromatic/

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    1. Thank you, Quill Shiv. I love that your kitty acts excited when you get home. What a nice image.

      Your story was so poignant and perfectly depicted the loyalty of a dog.

      Thanks for letting me know my link was wrong!!

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  3. Wow, that one hit me like a flashback. I had a big collie named Jo-jo when I was a boy. We were inseparable for a good number of years. No--some of the best years. Thanks for bringing back those memories.

    mine's at http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/

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    1. I'm glad it brought back some happy memories, Russell. My dog memories are some of my best, too.

      Loved your story. I won't be surprised if there's an actual agency like that soon. :)

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  4. Oh gosh! I loved this. Just felt the love and excitement the dog felt for his boy. Just great. :)

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    1. Thanks, C.C.! I enjoy watching dogs and interpreting what they're trying to communicate.

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  5. I loved the POV and can just feel the dogs anticipation. Great work. Here's mine: http://postcardfiction.com/2012/03/16/charmed/

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    1. Thank you, Janet. I often write in animal POV's. I enjoyed yours, too, and was amazed at what you were able to convey, in even less than 100 words!

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  6. Dear Jan,

    Loved your take on Bobbi-Sue's soulful eyes and expectant posture. You captured the very essence of a dog's love for his boy.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/answer-to-love/

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    1. Thanks, Doug! I enjoyed yours, too. Very dog-like the way you wrote it. And I think dogs do choose us. :)

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  7. Nicely done! That is a lovely poem, Jan. Sounds like Bobbie Sue wrote it.

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    1. Thanks, Ted! Did you post a story? I didn't see a link here or on Madison's blog.

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  8. Great story, Jan. This week has seen homages to so many beloved pets, and it's great to see how the pets love us right back too. You captured that beautifully. I especailly liked the steadily growing wag of the tail!

    I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/friday-fictioneers-lucy

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    1. Thanks, elmowrites! We do love our pets! I enjoyed yours, too, and especially liked it's tone of reincarnation, as seen in the dog's eyes.

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  9. I really like how you've shown the love of a boy and his dog here. Dogs show how they feel from head to toe so easily. I wish we as people could be so free to express ourselves and not hold back. Very nicely done!


    http://thewriternubbin.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/flash-friday-fictioneers-the-vigil/

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    1. Thanks, Jeannie. I too, wish humans were so free to show emotion. I remember once I decided to welcome my husband home the same way our dogs do, but jumping up and down and all over him. All I did was knock his glasses off and break them. Needless to say, I never tried that again. :)

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  10. You have such a finely-tuned sense of language. I think that is why you are such an excellent poet. Great descriptions and beautifully flowing words. Very creative use of the hyphen to keep in within the word limit! Having to post this as anonymous because blogspot is addled. Ron
    Here's mine: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/

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    1. Thanks, Ron! Oh, and I didn't even think about the hyphen helping me to stay in the word count limit! I used it to try to express unbridled, breathless joy.

      Really enjoyed yours, too. How very creative, and a real standout.

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  11. Nicely done Jan.
    I loved the way you set this piece out, the words just flowed.

    Here's mine:
    http://mjshorts.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/sometimes-you-just-have-to-make-a-stand/

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    1. Thank you, Mike. I enjoyed yours, too. The male vs. female POV was very creative!

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  12. I really liked the "My tail wiggles..." section, it just stands out. The whole thing really feels like the joyous thought process that a loving dog has.


    http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/fridayfictioneers-the-colour-of-death/

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    1. It's the thing I love most about dogs -- the way their whole bodies wiggle. :)

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  13. How wonderful, loved the full body wiggle.

    Here's mine: http://teschoenborn.com/2012/03/15/friday-fictioneers-2/

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    1. Thank you! Loved yours - one of the most creative!

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  14. You use some warming imagery and some heart-warming words to great effect here, a lovely verse which definitely conveys a bond of pure friendship. This put a smile on my face :-)

    http://andyfloodwritersblog.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/facsimile-forest/

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    1. Thanks, Andy. I'm glad I made you smile. Dogs always make me smile. :)

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  15. I said, "Ohhhh" out loud here in the hotel room. What a sweet, beautiful story/poem! Loved the dog watching the school bus, breaks squealing and the part where his whole body wiggles and wags. This makes me want to get home and hug our dogs!

    Mine is here: http://banterwithbeth.blogspot.com/

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    1. I'll bet you do miss your dogs. I'm always happy to get home to mine. Safe travels home!

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  16. Awww...brought a tear to my eye. I love how my dogs rejoice when any of us come home - even from a short trip to the store. When my husband is on travel, our little dog (PeeWee) sits on the back of the couch and stared out the window at 5PM...and waits, and waits.

    ~Susan (Here's mine: http://www.susanwenzel.com/)

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    1. Thanks, Susan. I loved your story, too, especially since your lab reminds me of my lab. :)

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  17. Great tale and so true of a dog's eternal loyalty and love. Nicely done, Jan.

    Here's mine:
    http://siobhanmuir.blogspot.com/2012/03/outside-of-dog-100words-for.html

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    1. Enjoyed your tensely comic scene, too, Siobhan!

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  18. I can read his mind. "Hmmmmm, do I take a right or left to find Patty Stith's house?

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    1. Oooh! Don't tell Patty that, Linda. I think she's still waiting on a kitty cat. :)

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  19. That was such a sweet poem and I love how dogs are always so happy to see their people come home. Totally unconditional love.

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    1. Thanks, Madison. That was one of my favorite photo prompts of yours. Can't go wrong with a dog. :)

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  20. Beautifully poetic--love the format that you used. Adds visual beauty to the poetry of the piece. Very nicely done. I loved it.

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    1. Thank you, Virginia. I was trying to make the format of the words show the excitement. Hope I succeeded. :)

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  21. Whoops, forgot Mine: www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html

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    1. I enjoyed your little tale, Virginia. Especially "bullheaded bovine!" :)

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  22. Fun poem. I can see the dog wagging his tail, waiting for him to return. I love dogs!

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    1. Thanks, Shirley. Nothing better than a dog's welcome home! :)

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  23. This is beautifully done from the dog's pov. I loved the part about the tail woggle turning into one giant wag - so true! And the last line is precious. VEry special.

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    1. Thanks, Judee. I wanted to express the utter joy of the dog. :) I enjoyed your spooky tale, too!

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  24. Very nice! I love that "one giant wag," and have seen it many times.

    Here's my story: http://wp.me/p24aJS-3m

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  25. I loved this story when I first heard it and am so glad "universe" provided the perfect picture for you to present it to the world.

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